Common Contradictions

So as everyone knows I am in college now, which means I should grow up, learn to become more independent, and excel at my work. Unfortunately I don't want to grow up, I'm already pretty independent, and I'm so tired of doing schoolwork and I haven't done any thus far. Basically I like how this whole college thing is going. I like the people, the place, the laughter, the food, the fun. I can only complain about the classes, and the lack of single girls. Basically I became a custom to doing little work in high school and now it appears that it is gonna pile up quick. The lack of sleep could also contribute to my low level of comfort and happiness at the moment. Anyway my purpose of these blogs is to share a poem. So here's a poem that relates to how I feel.

The Inside and Outs of Common Contradictions

It's a common occurrence
Far be it from me to ever understand why
Apparently, though I am deserving of it
I can be having the time of my life
But tragedy will tragically brush my mind over
Suddenly, for no reason at all
I am overcome with this overbearing feeling of depression
As if something is trying to make my life completely incomplete
Whatever that something is has succeeded on too many occasions
Each time I cower before it and begin to beg for mercy
Because the power it has over me proves my humanity
It proves my makeshift shell of perfection is easily shattered
I anticipated nothing less, it was all for looks anyway
Those us invincible on the outside are so vulnerable inside
Those vulnerable on the outside are only out for pity
They are more than willing to admit how pathetic they are
How condescending can one be to confuse pathetic with honesty
All of a sudden, being open and honest is a crime?
Your damn right it is!
Why can't you put on your mask and live a lie like everyone else?
What makes you so special?
Don't let me spoil your good time;
clearly you're busy extracting pity
from those of us who act like we have it all together
Now, who's in the wrong?
Wrong question
What can we do to make it right?

This poem is a battle in itself. It's basically trying to make sense of what goes on inside my head when I feel depressed or disconnected from my beliefs or goals. I battle with myself between doing something selfish or what's right. It can be compared to a battle with sin as well, but it's not always a matter of sin. It's more of a battle in life that is just circumstantial on different things that occur most of which I have no control over. I like this poem, mainly for the reason that at the beginning it offers a sad outlook on how quickly ones mood can change, but at the end it more or less tells you no matter what happens just change your outloook from how can I stop myself from doing everything wrong to how can I make things right. That's all I got. Peace!