Highly Exalted

I warn anyone who reads this now, that this will be a long entry because I have a lot to write about, and I haven't written in a while. My first order of business has to do with a song I've been listening too. I don't own the cd its on or even have it downloaded on my computer, but I was checking my good friend Dave's myspace and I heard the song "Long Day" by Matchbox 20 and I've kind of been going back to his myspace just to listen to it as odd as that may be. Not so much because the music, but because some of the lyrics. I'm gonna put the lyrics in here and just discuss the parts that effect me which isn't much of the song but heres the song:

Its sitting by the overcoat
The second shelf, the note she wrote
That I cant bring myself to throw away And also
Reach she said for no one else but you,
Cuz you wont turn away

When someone else is gone
Im sorry bout the attitude
I need to give when Im with you
But no one else would take this s*** from me
And Im so
Terrified of no one else but me

I'm here all the time
I wont go away
Its me, yeah I cant get myself to go away
Its me, and I cant get myself to go away
Oh God I shouldnt feel this way
(chorus)

Reach down your hand in your pocket
Pull out your hope for me
Its been a long day, always aint that right
And no lord your hand wont stop it
Just keep you trembling
Its been a long day, always aint that right
Well Im surprised that youd believe
In any thing that comes from me
I didnt hear from you or from someone else
And youre so
Set in life man, a pisser theyre waiting
Too damn bad you get so far so fast
So what, so long
(chorus)

Its me, yeah and I cant get myself to go away
Its me, yeah and I cant get myself to go away
Oh God I shouldnt feel this way

Now I can't remember the last time a girl gave me a note that I didn't want to throw away; then again not many girls passed me notes anyway, but that doesn't matter. The line "And Im so terrified of no one else but me". That's where I find myself thinking about how even if some of my problems are caused by other people it is my own fault for just feeling sorry for myself rather than moving on. Which is why "I'm here all the time, I won't go away". But even when times come where all I want to do is run I can never seem to run that far. Because I know I shouldn't feel the way I do, and I just need to ask God to help me through it. I'm hoping that God will "Reach down your hand in your pocket and pull out your hope for me" But the song is about having a long day. In God's eyes our lifetime could be as short as a day, so I feel the song is interpreting this long day as my life. For some reason I have this outlook like my life has been a very long quest for hope which is the case for most people. I think most of the time no matter how hard I try I fall short. I try and be a good person by not conforming to drinking and partying while everyone else appears to be doing that. Luckily I don't feel tempted by that type of thing, but I just feel so darn lonely. Between never putting my full trust in anyone, and holding back from getting too close to someone I literally feel alone all the time. The contradiction that has always plagued me is how when I'd go to church I'd hear some teachings about if your down and out and feel like you have no friends and you can't count on your family at times you can turn to God. That's all good, but if you could live a fulfilling life alone with God why hasn't anyone achieved that and if someone that is in almost complete solitude has, come tell me how. Now I try to bring people to God even though it's uncomfortable to see if they will reject me and my faith. I even try my best to act godlike in my manner, not mighty and powerful, just polite and helpful, but I'm only human. I like being around people for the most part for people who have been torn apart and crapped on by everyone they meet how are they suppose to build up enough confidence to attempt to save others. What if you are so hurt by people that you don't care whether they go to heaven or hell. Are you going to hell for not helping them. When you are judged before God chances are he is going to want to know what you did in order to help his kingdom and when someone says to him, "Well, truthfully I was too scared to approach anyone because I'm so sick of being crushed that I just gave up". Will God have any mercy? I don't know, in fact I don't even know how I got on this subject so I'm changing the matter at hand. Tonight I was talking to my dear friend Ben about life and how we are now forced to grow up and what we would do if we could go back in time and do ove knowing what we know now. We talked about old memories in Mr. Holmes class and various things and if we have anything left to look foward too. I realized by talking to him that now that I'm growing up and have been impacted by so many things, it is time for me to impact people in a positive way. It's now an oppurtunity for me to guide others in some way or another. Now that I've written all of this I need to just put a poem here at the end so here it goes just to wrap this up:

His Exaltation

Believe that a miracle is not a hallucination
The Lord's power has no limitation
So go ahead and save yourself some aggravation
By being wise enough to accept his invitation

If you desire eternal life, find the motivation
to seek Him out for a spiritual elevation
Heartbroken? Anticipate complete restoration
because when one accepts God, there is total jubilation

It's simple, Jesus is the foundation
who leads us to salvation
which enables us to resist temptation
preventing us from eternal damnation

This faith is not to be a decoration
instead it should be, the believer's proclamation
Not just proclaimed here but to every nation
Join a family of believers for his glorification

Worship together and hear the ovation
And allow the word of God to be the newest sensation
For he should be the center of concentration
Yet the world still has not come to the realization

That our existence is the result of God's creation
Stop with false idols and false adoration
See that sinners are unworthy of acclaimation
Do not envy them, it will only lead to frustration

Brand him on your heart and taks His affirmation
Rev: 7:14 "These are they who have come out of great tribulation"
Lift praise unto the Lord's appellation
Let Him be the only one deserving of adulation

For those who feel they are lost in the equation
Know that only God can be your liberation
He's the Alpha and Omega, sheer perfection, that's no exaggeration
It's his second coming, did you get the revelation?

Praise God!