I so don't want to do anything anymore

I don't have anything new or profound to write about. I'm up to my chin in work though. I felt like I got so much done and I still have so much to do. I think I did good on a test today. I have a quiz tomorrow and still have to do my communications homework. Tonight was the Chi Alpha meeting, it was nice to worship God since I missed churched Sunday. Although every time I've heard a sermon or bible study, all I'm being told is I'm never good enough. I'm not good enough for anything or anyone and that's a good thing I guess so I don't have a lot to live up to. I don't get how people that are disconnected from God seem to have everything together. Everything is so backwards. Here's a poem:

Hear in the Dead Lights

Abrubt endings are common for those in darkness
They will see the light, but it's too late
Because they are frozen and gone in a flash
God willing, when I see that light I'll embrace it
And be filled with such elation
How glorious it all could be
Hopefully, one day we will all be enlightened
But you may end up in total darkness and
the only thing you will have left is your faith
You'll be entirely alone
alone with your faith here in the dead lights
But isn't that better than having no chance
like a deer in the head lights
After all, aren't we deserving of a chance?
How do we recognize such an oppurtunity
when the lights are dead and sound is mute?
Is it even possible?
Perhaps, we have no control over whether or not
we even receive the oppurtunity to accomplish the goals we dream about
How unfortunate it would be if our lives were based on coincidence
instead of fate and God's design for our lives
The odds that we would dodge death would be slim to none
Just like the deer in the headlights
Had we listened to the words of God's only son
it wouldn't be so hard to hear in the dead lights

Basically, I believe in Jesus Christ, I've come to the conclusion that ultimately I can't change anyones mind about what they should believe so if God's gonna speak through me he's gonna speak through me. I can't control it so whatever happens, happens. Right?