Still Awake

Tonight one silly thing happened. While studying in the bottom of the dorm one of my sweet suite mates pointed out that the desks are in the shape of swastikas. I thought that was funny in a kind of sick way. I barely got any studying done. I went to a dance party shortly after which was kind of odd at first just simply because I'm not a party goer nor a dancer, but I eventually busted some sweet moves. The most valuable part of the whole night was when I was about to leave the dance party, I received information regarding church organizations from a new friend. I enjoy meeting people that share my faith because I knew they have a good story to tell and usually lead an interesting life. After all when you don't spend your time drinking your usually doing something exciting instead. I'm excited to see where God will lead me while hear at JMU.
Of course I didn't just write this blog to say how my night went; I wrote it to let anyone who may or may not read this my reason for living is God which is what excites me and interests me more than anything. However different people have different things they live for so this poem is basically about why people wake up every day. Here it goes:


For Whose Sake Do You Lie Awake?

Have you ever just layed there?
I'm talking about really laying down
With your eyes open in total darkness
fixed on one direction
staring into nothingess
and for no partciular reason

If there was a reason
it would be to consciously question your purpose
not questioning with words aloud
instead the words just run through your head
while you stare off into nowhere
waiting as if the darkness of all things
will show you the path to take,
show you the life layed out for you

But just like you laying there
your life is layed out in darkness
like a touch tunnel in pitch black
you will get through life on feelings alone
some of the time you will be totally mislead
How unfortunate that you sulk deep inside
about all the times you've been mislead already

It would be wise to just close your eyes
Because in all honesty there is usually nothing to see
Instead you keep your eyes open
Consumed in so much false hope
that a saving grace will appear to you
Because you are in "need" of a sign
those are your words not mine
Who isn't in need?
Honestly we all need something
So needy, that's a sign of imperfection

Imagine resting eashy for just one night
one week, one month, one year, one lifetime
I can't imagine it because truthfully
if I could I would not lie awake with my eyes open
I would close my eyes and trick myself
What I imagine, I sometimes make realistic
But more often than not I lie awake
Waiting for my imagination to take a stride into reality
Instead reality takes over my imagination
Crushing hopes and dreams
thus making my lying awake seem pointless

So eventually I close my eyes
We all close our eyes
Even if we lie awake forever, no progress would be made
No revelation exclaimed
So we lie awake in darkness
Only until our mind serached for words no more
And then slumber is all we end up finding
Just to put us back in touch with the dreams
that will be crushed the next morning

But rest assure for all our sake
That the day we awake
and those dreams finally take shape
We will become ignorant
But what does any of that matter
As long as all our needs are met in the end


This poem is meant to depict common selfishness of human beings. It attempts to make it clear how when things aren't going the way we planned we lay and question whether it be to God or ourselves why certain things in life don't go our way, we doubt ourselves and purpose. Even though we shouldn't do it we do, but it's so easy. Sometimes instead of relying on God for help we try and do things ourselves and are blinded by our own ambition and selfishness thus "closing our eyes to God" but in this poem the poem suggests to "close your eyes" to worldly things. It's basically saying submit to God and let Him guide you through rough times. Everyone needs God whether they believe in Him or not. It's clear that life is not meant to be easy, but it's easier to live with Him than without Him. The end of this poem is basically full of sarcasm which an individual could like or dislike, it basically makes or breaks the poem. The poem could have had a more uplifting ending, instead I chose to take an easy rhyme and sentiment and twist the words to make an entirely selfish statement "what does any of that matter as long as all our needs are met in the end." Despite that last statement being a completely selfish thing to say, I'm almost positive everyone has felt this way at some point. It's clear because sometimes when we go to God and he grants us what we desire, we take it all for granted and act like it was our own doing that brought us success. This was a long explanation so I'm done with it now. Peace Out!