What's my work worth?

I haven't stuck to my guns by writing everyday because time seemingly flies by way too fast. This morning I went to church on 6 hours asleep and was dozing off. Am I a bad person for that? No, because I got the message completely. The message was in regards to humility and humbling yourself before God. What triggered in my mind during the whole message probably wasn't what I was suppose to get out of it because all the message did was make me feel like a piece of crap. The messaged offered hope in that if you humble yourself before him he will answer your prayers, but all I felt when I heard it was that no matter what I do it will never be good enough. That seems to be the attitude I've taken on as of late. The message also made us aware that our pride should not be important to us which makes plenty of sense. I'm more than willing to admit that my pride gets in my way sometimes, but at the same time I'm aware that I can never measure up to God which truly means no matter what I am doing I can be doing more. As that train of thought goes on, I have another train of thought that feels like I have no time to do anything else, so I can I do more when I feel like I have no time to do anything. This messaged depressed me, so when I got back from service I fell asleep until 5:00. I wasted more time, nor do I even feel rested. Obviously I still have so much to learn about life and the second I feel like I've accomplished something I realize there is so much I haven't accomplished in comparison. These entries still have not taken on the positive outlook that I hoped they would because I'm still working towards that. I'm still a work in progress. Now to transition how I feel right not into a poem I've been working on the past couple of days. Here it:

Work in Progress

I am a demon that is not possessed
I am an angel that failed to be blessed
I am always the opposing view and scheme
The same old scenario with a different theme
My life is the punchline of your dirty joke
I’m the air that, you breathe that, makes you choke
Sometimes my progress turns out to be fruitless
I am useful for many things that end up being useless
I run to the darkness when it appeared to be light
I escape the violence but find myself in a fight
I am the perfect canvas that you allow to be scarred
I am the ace of the heart that you want to discard
I am the flawless jewel you let sink in the ocean
I am movingly gifted, yet you cease my motion
My emotions are strong, yet you cast them as weak
I am labeled as wrong, but I’m right; here with the meek
I am the anchor that only floats on the surface
I’m worth the price of gold when gold becomes worthless
I am the writer whose words are erased
I am the work in progress whose work goes to waste



I feel that even in this poem there is a sense of imcompletion. I feel like there should be more to it, but just like the title says it's a work in progress. I think ultimately this poem sums up everyones life. If we never can reach perfection and no one can ever do enough than we are all just works in progress, but it hurts me when it seems like so many people have it figured out. I don't have anything figured out. If people ask me for advice the only was I can give it to them is if God speaks through me. I alone know nothing. I alone don't know how I can get work done, which is probably why I don't get work done. It seems I like I don't even have time to sit down and read my bible which would mean I have to find a way to make time, but I don't even know how to go about doing that. It seems the more I analyze what establishes my faith as faith the more hopeless I feel, the more I feel like I can never please God, like I can never do enough. It's constantly feeling inferior despite the fact that I am inferior. It's me feeling so inferior that I can't do anything. I'm helpless. I could be doing something about it right now, but instead I am writing and now I'm not even going to do that anymore.