The word is to love not to judge

So I'm sitting here listening to David Crowder and was working on a history project, and thinking about how I've been wanting to write something because I haven't written anything in a while. I kind of feel like I'm in a waiting position right now because no real strides have been made. I mean I absolutely love life and how my relationship with God and spirit has become so much stronger than ever, so that's a huge blessing. However, I feel like I don't know what I can offer to God, I've been praying that he uses me more and maybe gives me words to write, but for like the past week I've started writing some stuff but can't finish it or end up being disappointed with it. It's like I'm not sure what I even want to say, what words I can write to make some sort of impact. I've been discouraged because like I've been craving something amazing to happen everyday and when it doesn't I get a little disappointed, but not everyday is going to be filled with blessings. I was a little worried Thursday and Friday because this guy came to JMU and called himself a preacher and was preaching a message of hate. I listened to him for an hour or so, and listened to people arguing and I opened my bible and read this scripture. 2 Timothy 2:14 "Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen." At first I was disappointed that everyone was listening to this man and was like if everyone ignored him instead of arguing with him their wouldn't be a problem. But then I realized not then but almost right now that these mans words and the arguing between him and the crowd was ruining my mindset, it had a negative effect on my faith. I realize as a follower of Jesus Christ my faith is not strong enough where I can stand in the midst of arguing that is doing no good and in effect it negatively effected me over a couple of days. But God still found a way to use me which I also didn't realize until today. After an hour I went to my room to get my stuff for class I had at 3:30. As I was heading back to my dorm I overheard someone say "Let's throw a pie at this guy!" God wanted me to hear that. So I walked to my dorm and I knew I would have to walk by this preacher again to go to class. So as I was walking back I saw the false preacher covered in pie and then God spoke to me not allowed, but in my heart, he was like "You need to wipe him off and not say a word." So I went to the bathroom in Warren Hall, got a giant handful of paper towels, and walked up to the preacher on the hill and began wiping this man completely off. It was like I myself wasn't even doing it, but as I did it he stopped preaching and the giant crowd stopped yelling. I did not say a word or even look at a single person. As I wiped him off, the preacher whispered, "thank you" and I wiped him off until you could not see any more whipped cream from the pie. I said "God Bless" and walked through the crowd with my head down and walked off to class. That was on thursday, but God was basically I guess trying to show people that words mean nothing. You can argue all day, but it will mean nothing. I didn't want any acknowledgment for it, in fact I didn't even want people to know, but I told people in order to basically show a message through the whole thing, but today after me and Dan had lost first round in our racquetball tournament, we were walking back from UREC and a guy approached me who was amongst the crowd and told me he saw me wipe off the preacher and he said it was a kind act of love, so I thanked him for the compliment. The thing about God is, he may not always speak to us directly, he may allow some to hear his voice, but the thing is God doesn't always show us our plan through his words, he may give us a vision, he may speak through someone else, or maybe he just puts it in our heart. God doesn't show us love by saying in his booming voice "I love you." He shows us his love through his Holy Spirit, through healing, God's actions speak louder than words, and it was just the same with Jesus. Lately, I've been discouraged because I want to know my purpose and I've been like God speak to me so I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what your will for me is, but I know God will reveal it to me one day. So I just need to be patient, and maybe one day when I dig myself into a whole and am covered up to my head in dirt or pie, he will wipe me clean and show me what his will is. Anyway I'll wrap this up with a poem.


Passing by judgment as judgment is passed

A crowd, once passerbys turned their attention
to man standing on a hill, so bold
But I should also make mention
that is heart was one that was cold
He spoke to condemn the broken
those who were caught up in the world
He never seemed to be outspoken
into the crowd, stones were hurled
So they stood and yelled profanities
when no one forces them to be still
To be amongst their individual insanities
would mean I would need a stonger will
Though I wanted to walk away
I decided to stay and wait
Who would have known that on this day
I'd hear a preacher speak words of hate
He spoke nothing of God's love
just of God's apparent hatred for sinners
But when push comes to shove
Jesus died to make us winners
If we so desire we must be willing to allow
God to come and live inside of our hearts
We humble ourselves, our knees will bow
and this is how our salvation starts
Instead their was just an argument
between every skeptic and every scoffer
Everyone so quick to pass judgment
No one saw what God had to offer
So I felt that it was time to walk away
there was no time for me to stay and wait
because apparently on this day
every spoken word was one backed by hate
Like every one of us the preacher had a need
His stain covered clothing was easily seen
After seeing the hate that his words did breed
My heart told me to make this man clean