Maybe a song

So yesterday I experienced what it's like to hear a real prophet with the gift of prophecy, and it was pretty awesome. He was a really funny, down to earth guy, and he had words for a lot of people. I was more excited about the words he gave other people than what he said to me. When he was speaking to others I could see clearly that this guy truly hears from God because the things he was saying were so right on to many people. He said to me to "Take it in," but before he said it he knew I had been spending so much time with God, but he kept saying "Take it in" over and over with his hand on my heart. Then he described me as a vessel and related the story of Gideon breaking the jars with his 300 men. He said something about being a vessel inside a vessel and a huge fire burning in me that was almost ready to be let out or something along those lines. When the apostle came a week and a half ago he said to me "Your almost ready to go, aren't ya?" To say that latley, I've been a little perplexed and confused and disheartened is an understatement. Because I have felt all these things along with trying to be a motivator and trying to carry the wisdom God provides me with and trying to obey him when he tells me to speak, trying to discern his voice from my own stupid head. I've been completely torn up about the vagueness of my prophecy. I felt as if others had a rather more straight foward approach to theres, while mine was filled with laughter, beforehand he told me I had supernatural hair, and as he was trying to explain what God had in store he, struggled to describe it, which allows me to hope that what God has planned cannot be described by or through anyone. Maybe God wants me to take in more than in imaginable. I don't know, but I sure as heck wish I had a clue. This seems like a common theme in my life, never really being too sure of anything. I'm sure of God's love, infinite wisdom, and gifts, and all that great, wonderful stuff, but when it comes to my life and how God wants to use it, and what his will is for it, I could hand you a blank piece of paper and tell you this is what I know on paper. I can write down everyone of my hopes and dreams, but it wouldn't matter because this life is not up to me and if I allowed it to be it would 1 cease to have existed by now or been in a steaming pile of coals and darkness. I do know I'm in the right place and going in the right direction, but unfortunately I can't see a foot in front of me, and know that everything behind me is not worth going back too. Because if I have to go back through all that again I might as well die. So all I can do is hope and have faith that things will eventually become clear to me, God willing. God is good, and I thank him for answering so many of my prayers and for moving so much, but I'm still not even close to being satisfied as far as him working in me goes. In other news I stopped writing poems, but for some reason I've been able to come up with some songs, tunes and lyrics in some of my classes.


Broken Deception

My prayer go out to those who don't have faith in Jesus
They may not see the heavenly eternity that seeks us (that seeks us) *echoes*
My savior didn't die on the cross so he could leave us
He died and lived again so God's kingdom would receive us (receive us) *echoes*
There are so many skeptics that refuse to believe us
They call out to the world beggin Satan to "Deceive us!" (deceive us) *echoes*

That was never apart of the plan
for man to depend on man
because to think that he can
would assume man's in command
I'm sorry man but God's in command
the heart and love of man is His demand
because he created man from the sand
that's how it all began
the breath of one's lifespan
now who's here to stand
at God's right hand
bringing salvation to the land
when everyone else ran

My prayer’s go out to those who ran from Jesus
They may lose out on the eternity that seeks us (that seeks us) *echoes*
My savior didn’t die on the cross so you would leave us
Now you changed so much that you refuse to receive us (receive us) *echoes*
The abandonment of truth is why you don’t believe us
Satan answered your cries when you said to “deceive us” (deceive us) *echoes

So I cry out for the lost
no matter, my exhaust
souls come at a higher cost
which is why He died on the cross
for a gain not a loss
to die is gain
which is why I remain
free from a chain
that bounds my name
He cleansed all my stains
so no longer is there pain
or reason to complain
Anticipate Jesus' reign
Earth will be his domain
and Satan will be slain

My praise go out to those who accepted Jesus
We will receive the heavenly eternity that seeks us (that seeks us) *echoes*
Soon there will be no reason for Him to leave us
Into His arms wide open He will receive us (receive us) *echoes*
and there is no reason for you to not believe us
Because Satan no longer has power to deceive us (deceive us) *echoes*