No Living in the Past

So I just got done reading some of my older entries from last year and coveted my own prior life. I mean its not reall coveting, because the reason why I enjoyed the place I was in last year so much more is because I was growing so much. I was so much more humble and immature therefore I didn't try to be a leader or act like I know what Im talking about. I just sat back and watched God work in my life. Now I'm here whcih to me seems like a place of having less faith, less love, and less of a heart for this campus. Maybe that's not the case but that's what I feel like. I often feel ignored, unheard and alone by God and people. I feel like I've been put in a place where I'm trying to be a whole lot more than what God has called me to be because of other peoples failure to respond to the Word. Maybe that's selfish but I mean it's how I feel so, but I guess some things should be left unsaid (note: consider deleting the last sentence). But in reality I honestly cannot complain about anything going on in my own life once again. I'm getting good grades, I'm spending time with the Lord, he's been providing for me, my family is healthy even though a lot of them still don't know Jesus. I'm excited to go home for the first time since I've been at school, I've been home just haven't been excited to go home and I'm hoping and looking to leave the country for the summer. I said to my mom on the phone on sunday that I want to go on Missions for at least months during the summer, and I told her I'd pretty much go anywhere except Antarctica, and I saw Darla today and she asked me if Stephanie had shown anybody this magazine, and I said no whats the magazine about and she said it's about missions, there are missions trip on every continent except Antarctica so I thought that was pretty cool. Maybe I will really will get to leave the country and be pretty much on my own for a few months. Well we will see and things will get better revelatory wise. Jesus I love you, good night!