By the time all of this is over who knows what kind of condition I will be in? Who knows what kind of condition anyone will be in? It's really easy to look at the past 2 and a half years and say well so and so lost a heart of prayer or never really had one and to compare people to people. It's really easy to do that because the world does it every day. We evaluate people by their last performance in the world. The world sees a band live and if tehy perform badly they no longer like that band or criticize them. A professiobnal athlete has a bad season and nobody wants to pay them as much.. Similarly one good season can get someone paid millions of dollars more.That's how the world works. It's really tempting to evaluate the church like that too. It's really tempting to look at people and how much they pray and how much they do in a season and see what they do in the next season and then rate their relationship with the Lord and people do it alot, one could argue they do it even more in the church, but I don't want to make that argument because arguments don't interest me anymore. Not only do arguments not interest me anymore, but outward appearance doesn't interest me very much either. Though I am swayed by it and persuaded by it constantly I can't judge based on it b/c its deceiving. So one might ask me, well Jim what are you interested in? And I know the biblocal answer, I can feed someone some line that will make me appear really holy and awesome, I'm interested in seeing the kingdom established and seeing love spread all over the place and for hearts to turn to Jesus and I believe that if I did feed someone that answer it would be 100% honest, but there is a catch. I can't establish a kingdom, I can't spread love all over the place and I can't turn hearts to Jesus. My interests are absolutely unattainable in myself, I cannot make a single thing happen and that reality isn't very encouraging. It doesn't bring much joy and we are reminded of it daily. I'm reminded daily that not only can I not make things happen, but I'm reminded of my performance that other peoples performance ends up testifying against me. It taunts me. Why? Why can't this thing break off me and others? I have seena dn run with so many people who stop running at the same pace because they are tired of being compared and evaluated adn trying to meet someone elses standard and we lose sight of what You oh Lord are calling us to. And I'm tired of being in the middle of it and I'm tired of seeing it happen to people I love. God i ask for forgiveness on this comparison of sacrifices, I'm sorry this is still happening in Your church. I'm sorry that we care more about our position in the kingdom than the posture of our heart. Help us be servants of all! That's what it takes and may we learn that!